It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

The Best (?) From the
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

The rain splattered down on the tables of the cafe like raisins dropped by uncaring gods.
--Patricia A. Folkerth, Columbia, South Carolina
"Fightin' Joe" Steerforth thought he was tough until the day he met Annie ("Big Bucket") McGillicuddy and she left him battered and spent like a punch-drunk prizefighter on the ropes of love.
--John Stark Bellamy II, Cleveland Heights, Ohio
The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the toad's deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"
--Barbara C. Kroll, Kennett Square, Pennsylvania
Grimelda's heart was on the ship with Lord Touchnot, but her feet were planted firmly in the soil of her native land; she felt she could not endure the pain.
--Mary Virginia Brown, Ventura, California
The surface of the strange, forbidden planet was roughly textured and green, much like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid says it is all right to buy it.
--Scott Davis Jones, Sausalito, California
Yes, Cathy could ingest a full-grown rat when she was in the mood, then wash down the rodent with great quantities of diet cola (when she knew perfectly well one shouldn't mix hairy proteins and artificial sweetener).
--Rix Quinn, Forth Worth, Texas
Just beyond the Narrows the river widens.
--Warren Tupper Way, Wayzata, Wisconsin
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